Home › Forums › Phimosis, Frenulum breve, Circumcision, Foreskin retraction › Need some advice on my phimosis please!
This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Jack 6 months, 2 weeks ago.
March 1, 2018 at 4:29 pm #39514
So I could really do with some advice (and perhaps encouragement) regarding where my phimosis is at. I feel like background/context is important on this forum, as everyone’s situations/motivations are different, so please bear with me – I appreciate your time! I promise to do my part and report back with progress (or lack thereof) in the future.
Here’s my story:
Basically, I realised I had this condition a couple of years back, at which point I had never really tried retracting my foreskin properly. This was quite late in life to discover this (I was around 28 at the time) so it seems a bit weird, I know. But neither of my long-term ex-girlfriends, nor the bunch of sexual partners I had in between them, ever mentioned anything being out of order! I could always have sex, both with and without a condom, no problems; and apart from a few times that the foreskin got caught briefly during sex I never had any pain problems etc. (although this prospect did scare me somewhat). However, I have always been ashamed about not being able to expose the head of my penis and it always made me feel that girls wouldn’t enjoy giving me head, which is a pity because that’s one of my favourite elements of sex. I guess I just avoided the issue since no one had ever tackled it with me head on (excuse the pun).
Long story short: I recently separated from my GF of six yeas, who had much more severe sexual dysfunctions of her own (which is a whole other long, sad story). Basically, after having such a frustrating sex life with such a hot, beautiful girl whom I really loved — due to her own sexual problems mind you, not my phimosis as it’s quite mild — I’m very much ready to get back out there and enjoy what I’ve been missing.
However, I’m now super self-conscious about my goddamned phimosis and what random girls I take home will think about it!
When I initially discovered my condition a couple of years back, I couldn’t even retract when flaccid. But just by practicing retracting in the shower I was able to achieve this fairly easily within a number of weeks and with not much effort at all. I saw fast, steady progression with this and bam – I could now suddenly retract when flaccid, no problem, and have been able to do so ever since.
I then ignored this issue again from that point onwards (another long story).
Jump to the present moment – the thing is this: I don’t seem to be having the same kind of successful progression from this point onwards. I started the kind of stretching routine suggested on this forum around 5 weeks ago, and around 10 days ago also added in daily application of the suggested steroid cream, which I convinced a urologist to prescribe for me (the first one I saw told me I MUST have a circumcision or I’ll never fix it! He even used the term ‘just wrong’ to describe my equipment, #asshole).
I really, really DON’T want a circumcision, for many reasons. But I really, really DO want to fix this properly.
So, down to business now…here is a pic of where I’m at currently when rock hard:
You might be thinking “Hey, that’s not so bad, doesn’t look TOO far off”. The thing is, that’s basically how it looked when I started the stretching routine 5 weeks ago. Nothing really seems to be changing at all, which is not really encouraging to keep going. And I’ve really been doing a lot of stretching, as much as 4 x 10 mins per day, sometimes even more if I have the time. And with the steroid cream added to the mix around 10 days ago too, I really thought I should see some more progress by now.
Is it possible that my case is just not fixable? It’s a bit confusing to me, because it really seems to be a mild case of phimosis on the one hand, and I was able to retract when flaccid quickly – but on the other hand it seems to be very stubborn when it comes to doing so while erect, and just not very responsive to stretching at all. Do you think this is just because I’m starting this so late in life? Or is it possible that I have pathologic phimosis and that it will never get any better than that, no matter how long I stretch? Could the urologist maybe be right after all?
Basically, I want to know if it’s worth doing this every damn day for many more weeks (possibly many months?!) or if i should really consider surgery after all. If there is almost definitely a light at the end of the tunnel, then I’m happy to be patient and just continue. But if you feel this is some kind of anomaly it would be good to know as well.
Any advice/sharing of similar experiences would be much appreciated and thanks so much for your time!
March 1, 2018 at 7:54 pm #39532
You’re making this far too complex, as evidenced by your lengthy story. Firstly, no foreskin problem is pathogically unfixable. Therefore, circumcision is rarely, very rarely the answer.
What is the steroid you’ve had prescribed? How are you applying it? What is your daily routine? We’ll go from there.
March 1, 2018 at 8:32 pm #39533
Thanks for your reply.
I’ll keep it simple this time:
- The steroid cream is Betamethasone 0.064%.
- I’m applying it as described on this forum and elsewhere – directly to the phimotic ring on the inside of the foreskin. Or rather I’m trying my best to do this. It’s bit tricky since in my case the phimotic ring sits unusually ‘deep’ in the opening, as in the is A LOT of extra foreskin on top of that when flaccid, which makes things extremely finicky and difficult compared to demos I’ve seen.
- As for the stretching, I’m following the two finger video demo; only instead of fingers I’m using Q-tips. This it not, however, because the opening is not wide enough for two fingers. As you can see in the pic, it clearly is. The reason for the Q-tips instead is simply that which I started above about the depth of the ring itself within the foreskin opening. It’s difficult to explain, but it really is the only way for me to stretch.
- For the same reason again, the Phimocure rings are unfortunately useless to me. Insertion is just not possible (I’ve tried, believe me).
- I do feel like I get a really good stretch with the Q-tips this way, exactly like in the video demo. I do this for around 10 mins at a time, up to 4 times a day.
Am I just being too impatient? Any other handy hints?
March 1, 2018 at 11:54 pm #39534
You should try the phimocure rings again. Do you know how to insert them correctly? I can’t 2 fingers in either but I can get the rings in easy enough.
March 2, 2018 at 7:31 am #39536
Well, I commend you for following the advice. I think it might be a case of impatience. If you feel the tension, that’w what counts. All that extra foreskin is known as acroposthion. Many circumcised men would envy that, but I can see the challenge you have. Just work around it. I’m curious what kind of challenges you might have with condoms.
Be careful with the Betamethasone as it’s pretty powerful stuff. If it helps to get this process started, that’s good, but don’t use for longer than a few weeks.
Try harder to keep those four appointments each and everyday. Foreskins can be very stubborn because of the elsstic nature and the fact that they are not attached to a substructure as the rest of the body’s skin is. Just keep faith thatvthis does work.
March 2, 2018 at 8:40 am #39537
Yep, seems to be the ticket. Thanks a lot for you time and encouragement.
I will just keep at it then and report back later – hopefully with another success story!
I’m wondering though – how do guys feel about casual sex before this is properly resolved? All good with it? Do you typically mention something to the girl? (that seems like a bit of a mood-kill with sb you hardly know tbh).
I’m just wondering because I’m fresh to single life again and took a girl home the other night. We were really into each other, it was super hot, but for me the whole phimosis thing kinda ruined it.
Once again, she didn’t mention anything and neither did I. But when she was going down on me she retracted the foreskin while I was still only about 80-90% hard (it’s possible at this point) which then prevented me from ever getting properly rock hard and enjoying her rather amazing skills.
This then totally derailed my libido and I experienced impotence for the first time ever. Not a good feeling. It wasn’t until after a little nap that we were able to have a decent round of penetrative sex with a condom, and still I didn’t come (I guess due to mental tension over all this).
Would love to hear some other guys thoughts/experiences on casual sex with mild phimosis (which I believe is a different kettle of fish to sex with a long-term partner while having this issue).
But maybe that discussion should happen in a separate topic..
March 3, 2018 at 12:34 am #39547
Will oral sex with your foreskin forward get you to orgasm? You might try that.
March 3, 2018 at 10:21 am #39549
I mean yeah, that’s the obvious go-to option.
But don’t you think the look and feel of giving oral sex to a guy with a foreskin forward would be a total turnoff for most girls? Especially if they’re never encountered a guy with phimosis before, which I guess is mostly the case…
March 4, 2018 at 7:53 am #39556
That might depend upon where you are. Is foreskin common in your country? Where are you?
March 4, 2018 at 8:47 am #39557
I’m an Australian expat living in Germany.
So the majority of guys here aren’t circumcised, true. Foreskin is common.
However, around 95% of those guys would have normal foreskins that retract naturally when erect (aside from those of us with phimosis).
So regardless of uncircumcised guys being the norm here, a covered head when erect during oral sex would still probably be highly weird and unsightly for most girls, right?
March 4, 2018 at 4:07 pm #39558
To certain individuals, perhaps it’s an issue, but I doubt it would be a big issue for most. There’s only one way to know, and that is to try.
How difficult was learning German?
March 6, 2018 at 9:05 am #39579
Ha yeah, I guess I’ll have to get out there and see. Or hopefully fix the damn thing soon!
And you don’t really need to speak much German in Berlin tbh. I’ve been here for many years, still speaking baby German – with all the best job opportunities in my field by now it’s an advantage to be a native English speaker here..